#and “its not my fault ur bad w money”

[im-a-lil-bitch-boi]

gods i hate when my mom gets mad, cuz she'll basically turn into a giant toddler and throw a fit and yell at anyone and everyone that she sees is "in the wrong" or "did her dirty".

like she got mad at me bc she couldnt find her work clothes and instead of simply askin for us(us bc she began to blame my lil sister too) to go and check if thdy were hung up or still in the washer or even if she didnt put them in the dirty hamper, no. she had to yell about her clothes bein missin(keep in mind, when my clothes go missing she tells me it doesnt matter even tho its usually clothes i bought. and ion make a fuss abouf the clothes she bought me bc im so used to her takin stuff she bought me and givin them to my siblings, usually my lil sister as i "dont need them anymore").

she literally threatened to kick me out(which is legal as im an adult, however ik thats not gonna be the case cuz a couple of months ago she told me to take my stuff and leave and do nothin else but also refused to allow me to go and kept on snatchin everything outve my hands and told to to deep clean instead, AND THEN kept yellin at me to leave), and im honestly surprised she didnt yank my around by my hair like she did last time. then again she wasnt drunk this time so that might be y.

im so fuckin tired and stressed and now i cant even sleep bc im wide awake after lookin for a stupid shirt that she quite honestly couldve got up and looked for herself instead of sittin in her room amd throwin a bitch fit over it not bein where she wants it.

its so fuckin exhaustin to be continued to be pushed to my limit jus bc she can do it. my limit is not the same as ur lady, especially when u cant even get up and walk to the damn store for urself. idc if ur sick u sent me when i was sick, u sent me multiple times when i was sick and injured and didnt care. u sent me to get smth and got mad when i got it sayin "u shouldve known that not wut i wanted?!" then y was it on ur mimd? y'd u tell me to get it?! jus except u misspoke and stop blamin me like i can read mimds. i cant so leave me tf alone

[pumpkinsy0]

To that last anon that asked about toxic Purly stuff, I argue that The Shepards never take credit for their bad behavior or misdoings. Everything is always someone else's fault. Like it's the Soc's fault the cops tail Greasers, or it's the State's fault that their home life was so crappy, or its the teacher's fault for failing them when they needed that class to not be held behind (that last one was more so my reasoning as to why Curly and Pony are in the same grade).

Now, psychologists have pointed out that blaming others can be a defense mechanism abused kids do a lot so they don't get in trouble. It carries into adulthood.

I see Curly blaming anything and everything for why something went wrong and Ponyboy getting fed up with it. Like Curly blames the fact his car is not working is why they can't go on that date Curly has promised Pony for months (never mind Curly doesn't have the money for it and kept putting it off) and the next thing either of them know they're arguing. This could be classified as Papercut toxic-ness, I guess.

For Ponyboy it could be the fact he's so codependant. After loosing his parents and his friends so quickly and not being able to grieve properly, I could see him wanting to be with Curly a lot, they don't have to do anything, he could just want to sit down next to him and read a book or something; he just doesn't know how to verbalize that he's in pain and being close helps ease him. But this could make Curly fed up cause "Pony, why you followin' me? I'm going to take a piss, will ya' shove off?!" People do need personal space and Ponyboy not respecting that could be labled toxic as well.

that's all i had to say, lol sorry for the essay. :D

bro gave me a yappuccino /j /lh

BUT THATS KINDA WHAT I MEAN, they arent abusive either way u put it, they make bad choices bc they r quite literally broke kids w barely any outlet to express themselves w and trying to find their way in life, toxic doesnt have to mean just things like accidentally neglecting or whatever, it can just be “small” things

a character being characterized as aggressive doesnt automatically mean they r gonna b abusive in a relationship

plus i think the shepards have abusive parents and they TRY not to be like them, not saying they dont get some things from them, of course not, its canon they do, but i do think they TRY to be better than that, ofc they have parts to work on but they r def not hitting someone they r with, tim and curly CANONICALLY wouldnt allow it w angela, why would they allow themselves to do it, no matter how u twist it they arent doin that😭😭

also im cryin imagine trying to pee and u look over and ur bfs like this trynna follow u

[mazzystargirl]

ok living up to pinned post w some true confessions/dark secrets… so basically after i tried to kms in 2021 fall and went to the hospital i entered a really intense slut era and like started impulsively spending money and stuff too and i didnt have a job so i was like oh omg having a sugar daddy would work out really well for me and also i wanted to do things that would be like damaging or whatever idk why i did it rly. but anyway i engaged in some sugar baby behaviors. and then that winter break i went home from school and met up w some of my friends who ive known since i was a kid. now i have to give a little bit of context here cuz its important. so i have these 3 friends, one of whom ive known since i was 3 years old (N) and the other two since i was like 7 (S and J). and we all live in a very tight knit neighborhood/cultural community where mostly everyone knows everyone. and so my 3 friends parents know my parents. i guess you can see where this is going… but anyway i told them i had a sugar daddy or like it came up in conversation idk. and that was that. then literally the following AUGUSTTTT my mom comes to me and is like oh so some people in the neighborhood have been saying that you’ve been engaging in risky behaviors with older men and that youve been meeting them in hotels. so obviously i denied it very emphatically and tried to pry out who tf she heard that from and honestly i was like what like who could have even spread that and she said J’s mom told her and was lowkey rly cagey about it bc she didnt want to “break her daughter’s trust” and had asked other aunties about the situation like wtfff… and then i remembered i had mentioned to them over winter break so she must have fucking told her mommmm. i decided to assume best intent and chose to believe she was worried abt me and thats why she told her mom so i messaged her like hi did u tell ur mom abt this and i appreciate ur concern but i would have appreciated it if maybe u came to me directly and checked on me it would have been better and u lowkey hurt my feelings cuz now im stressed and anxious and don’t know whos saying what abt me etc etc. and then…

she fucking LIEDDDDD she said she didnt say anything to her mom AND that her mom didnt say anything to my mom!?? which i know is fucking bullshitttt 😭 like it makes 0 sense like if no one said anything is my mom just pulling shit out of the air and if she was how would she land straight on the money like that it just doesnt add up. so i was like um ok ?? uh have a good day. and decided to let it go and i lowkey don’t speak to her anymore and i told N and S that im not speaking to her but they can hang out w her if they want. and i forgot abt it.

but now i just moved back home after finishing school and its lowkey been eating away at me. it hurts me that she was my friend for 13 years and its all up in flames and i never got any closure or an apology or even her to admit or acknowledge the situation?? it hurts me to be at home worried abt what people are saying or thinking about me. i know i shouldnt care but what other people think of me bothers me. im not ashamed of myself and my choices but i don’t want other people to think less of me. i don’t want to reach out to her bc what if she doesn’t care at all about the situation ??? i don’t want to be like this has been eating at me forever and it really hurt me and her to be like what r u talking about i don’t think about you at all. she also just got into med school and im happy for her for real like glad shes doing well its just like. she hurt my feelings really bad :(

anyway if you read this far… what should i do 🥲 is the only path forward trying to let go… tbh i think i just need someone to validate my feelings like am i right to be hurt or is it all my fault and should i beg for forgiveness 😭 like my friend N got coffee w her a couple weeks ago and brought it up to me twice what does that even meannnn

[nyctarian]

.

[kadywicker]

people will see my mustache, bit of fluffy beard, and name tag that says james and be like "thank you ma'am! :)" anyway cis people are dumb as shit actually

[ringmyheart]

Dating Johan headcanons? Your Vinjin one was literal ✨gold✨ and yk so now i'm super curious about how you'd think dating Johan would be like.

Thank you!! 😭 I hope I did this well <33 also a warning, skip to where I wrote [HERE] if you’re uncomfortable w reading anything ab religion. Also I didn’t mean to offend any religion I am religious myself and didn’t specify any to avoid saying something incorrectly !

If you’re religious, he’s very VERY wary and cautious. Not of you but of the people you’re with, and it worries him a LOT

If u tell him ur hanging out with church friends he’s either insisting he comes too or asking a suspicious amount of questions of ur whereabouts and watching u from afar. He’ll probably step in on accident cuz he saw them like reach for ur shoulder or smmn and intervene cuz he thought like u were ab to get kidnapped but they were just gonna bring ur awareness to the food store around u, he’d be so on edge

He doesn’t like entering churches but if u go and u won’t negotiate on wether u can or can’t go, he’ll risk it all and come too

He’ll rough up the preacher after the service tho like “what’s your thing ???? Like what do you do.” And ask them questions completely unrelated and honestly kind of confusing to intimidate them

Like, “oh so this is all u do? U just preach?”

“Uh, yeah I love my job and am devoted. :) 👍”

“u have no other job? Nothing?”

“No...”

“R u married?”

“Yep!”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“What??”

And he meant like yeah good keep ur eyes off of u his s/o or SMM but it came out off putting and frankly indiscernible 😭

While in the service he might even start to shake cuz he’s so worried if he sees AC or hears it running he’ll grab ur hand and book it cuz he thinks ur being poisoned 😭

[HERE]

Likes to share things with you, like clothes and all. U know that black jacket he always wears it’s also ALWAYS on u too

Half of it is cuz he’s stingy w money naturally so it’s like less money spent if u guys r sharing ur food and clothes and all

So ur always wearing his stuff but in return he’s always wearing urs and like even shoes. If ur taller than him and have clothes that were his size he has ur old wardrobe in his closet now as hand me downs

HE PROBABLY wraps ur shirt around his wrist as a good luck charm before fights. Before he gets into a showdown he’ll wrap it around like his arm and kiss it and say ur name or whatever and he swears if he does this tradition he cannot lose he won’t let himself

Because u don’t spend much money, u have wired earphones (nothing wrong w that ofc) HOWEVER if ur listening to music together and he runs into someone he has beef with he’ll start swinging and ur just there like 🧍🏽‍♀️ cuz the earphones r still connected and he’s fighting to the death w like sweet but psycho playing in the background

He loves physical activities to do together. If ur not active u probably will be now forcefully bc he’ll be like please and u can’t say no so now ur hiking every day

Forgets to wait up for u bc he gets rlly ahead of himself the amount of times u get lost on the trail is unbelievable and he eventually establishes the “if u lose me, HUG A TREE AND I WILL FIND YOU” rule w u and now three times a week ur hugging a tree and waiting for him to come pick u up in the middle of the woods

He’ll apologize and tries to teach u the layout but u don’t memorize it ever

Also loves biking and gets u matching bikes, likes walking the dogs w u, going on runs etc. if u cannot run he grabs ur hand and is all its okay u got this :)) like thanks for the sentiment but it doesn't help💀

DO NOT DO HOBBIES W THIS MF!!!!!!!!! If u like to dance and tell him he’ll do it with you and within two days he leagues better than you it would suck

He is so good at picking things up if u play just dance for fun he will kick ur ass and ur like bro I thought we were just playing having fun wtf 😕 and he genuinely wasn’t even trying

So if ur competitive don’t put him on the hobbies ur into cuz he will start it a beginner and be better than u within three days

He’ll feel so bad tho if he finds out u don’t like it. Like when u drew stuff he’d sit by u and draw too and when u saw he was advancing to surpass u u stopped. He thought u just grew out of it but finds u in like a closet drawing to hide from him

But he loves doing stuff ur interested in w u even if it’s something he was never into. If u like it he likes it by association

The type of boyfriend to buy you ten fruits if you say you like one.

In passing you mention liking watermelon the next day you come home there are ten on your counter and he’s like hey :DD!

Gets you a matching dog god jacket like him so u two and ur dogs r matching always

He doesn’t care if you’re wrong, he will die defending you!!! U r always in the right what do u mean the total cost is 10.00$?? What do u mean it says 10$ on the register?? They said it was 8$ u heard them

He’s pretty reserved when it comes to personal stuff and just everything in general. U will be three years into the relationship and realize u don’t know what his last name is??!!!

He’s a “I didn’t see why it was so important” mf... if u ask ab his past or occupation he’ll tell you but in a way that underplays it extremely. Because he isn’t that ready to be vulnerable and open up as well as thinking u might not care or you’ll leave him

He’s a pretty jump-y person because he had to be alert and on his toes most of the time. If you surprise him by accident by being too quiet then appearing right by him he’ll jump three feet up like a cat or sock you in the face then apologize profusely and tear up feeling horrible

He’s pretty perceptive but when caught off gaurd he gets very nervous, can’t help it

While watching tv shows or bingeing a series he will narrate everytning to u. Because he really enjoys the show and wants to make sure u understand in the fullest too and enjoy it. If he didn’t understand sometning in the beginning but then understands you HAVE to know too

“Oh my god he just shot him....”

“The dog RUNS AWAY!?”

“She said she loves him oh my gosh...”

“They’re kissing?”

Like yes Johan.... we know.... if you tell him he’ll stop but it’s like programmed in his DNA to not shut up while watching tv he can’t help it

He’ll also pause the show to turn to u and go “I KNOW HIM!!”

And ur like “rlly?? OMGG”

And he’ll go “YEAH he’s also in that other show remember :O” and u realize he does not know him recognizes him

😑😔 .

He’s not that updated on internet and how humor has progressed over the past few years so if u send him any meme over 2015 he will be so confused

Send this and he’ll text back “😅 why did you send me this?”

“Is that sonic?”

“Are these your texts with someone?”

Otherwise he’s a pretty normal texted. He uses punctuation sometimes which will throw u off gaurd cuz it will be like “I love you.” And it’s like sweet but why did he add the period?? But he doesn’t always so it’s regular

If playing sports or doing something competitive he threatens everyone in the beginning to let you win and always lets u get the score/goal/net, whatever. He pulls everyone into him prengame by their collar and is like “listen ur letting them win got that. If I see u take that ball from them....”

He’s a helicopter boyfriend he is always seeing what ur doing what ur up to how u are, etc. protective to a fault basically

Holds u back when crossing the street as if ur seven years old

I have more I could say, but I’ll inevitable write another johan relationship hcs some day again so I’ll save it for then 😅 I hope this was what I wanted! Thank you for requesting ❤️❤️

[saintobio]

Hii! First excuse my English I'm not very good :// I just wanna talk a little, I'm sorry If my writing dont make sense.

Okay, anons said what Sera expected like u wanted to be mistress right and I saw others said like what did u expect mc is married with him?

First I was like yea she did that but If you look from seras pov and think it was all gojos fault because he said he's using mc and he will break up with her. And other things u know 🙄so probably she thinked they're not close, Sera trusted him. When she talked with mc in chapter 4 I'm assuming because she knows gojo likes her, so nothing will happen between gojo and mc. Maybe she thought mc talked to her for reassurement ıdkkk. I'm trying to look at the situation from her point. I don't know if Sera is a trustworthy person but I'm really upset what happened to her and all. However that doesn't give both of them any right to make mc feel bad about herself, blaming her, making her feel like she's the villain. Thinking she make their relationship worse. They could've done a lot of things for their relationship but they choose not to. Like for gojo, If you really love ur girlfriend, u want to make her ur wife, maybe have kids, enjoying each others company then I don't think anyone go to this path from the beginning. At least that's how Im thinking. Because of her situation and place Sera couldn't done anything and accept it but gojo definitely could've done something. I think Sera cares about money we've seen it and its understandable. And gojo cares about his place, he want to be respected. He's selfish (just like Sera), he want everything only for his gain. Marrying a rich woman so u can be respected and also treating her like garbage and cheating on her with another woman and ur excuse she was there before. Also, when she talks about divorce ur getting nervous and manipulating her. Then don't marry the rich woman? U might think marrying a lower class as an upper class will be a problem but ur dad did that. Maybe u will get hate but If you "love" her and because of her treating your own wife like shit u should bear with the hate. I'm honestly done with this man's bs. I hope mc learns that gojo is using her. She struggled enough because of him. She need a good rest away from his problems and focus on herself. I really want mc to have some company like friends, a human or a pet friend she looks so lonely. She's bottling up her emotions. Maybe we'll see toji as her company in the future. Like meeting and talking with each other. I would love that honestly, he's so sweet. Lastly I wanna add, I loved the chp 6, it was amazing. And tojiii he was nice, hope we can see him more :3 I was really happy that at mc had someone that she can talk and laugh with but sad with the fact that she didn't tell anything to Gen. Honestly I'm really exited for new chapter. I love your writing, thank you for your hardwork. But please take care of yourself idk rest, maybe take short nap, do something u like. I saw how much ur trying to answer, staying active and I really appreciate that but please don't pressure yourself. Hope you're doing well. (⊃｡•́‿•̀｡)⊃

thanks sm for reading and i’m glad u liked it hehe <33 as for ur theory, sera knows gojo loves her, she knows that he’ll divorce y/n at the right time, this is why she’s willingly allowing herself to be a mistress bc the endgame will always be her and gojo. she’s patiently waiting, hoping that gojo’s plans will fall into place so they can be tgt in the end.

but as shown, gojo and sera hide secrets from each other. ofc gojo won’t tell her how affectionate he’s becoming to his wife that he supposedly hates bc he is very conflicted w himself and how he feels too. he thinks it’s not worth all the trouble to tell sera what happens between him and y/n because in the end, he’ll still “choose sera” so. idk if i’m making sense but i hope u get what i’m trying get across (?) haha basically gojo feels like he doesn’t owe sera any information abt his marriage when she’s going to be the final choice either way.

however, things are becoming more complicated bc gojo’s starting to feel more comforted around y/n than sera and he’s seeing all these differences between them. he can’t sleep without her, he can’t stand a whole day without hearing from her, he thinks of her 24/7, and it’s starting to mess w his head. he feels guilty for sleeping w his own wife bc sera still exists in his life. he looks at y/n and thinks “i’m supposed to hate you” but the feeling of aggression is fading whenever he looks at her. he’a confused and he’s not happy w it so he conceals those thoughts by convincing himself that he doesn’t wanna be around her.

[ratcorvo]

i want to be happy but every time i think i am! my father rlly has to interfere huh

[yeojaa]

IDK IF UR STILL TAKING REQUESTS🥺🥺🥺 sorry if IM botherinh😭😭 BUT MYBE A FINDERS KEEP HERS drabble where jk n oc get in to an argument after chap 3 n jk apologizes or something like that😭😭🥺😭🥺🥺

[ read part one / main story ]

pairing.  jjk x f!reader.  rating.  general.  tags.  this is soft angst. JK being his usual idiot self, reader being... well, sad, and yeah. just pain (but w a resolution. ish).  wc. 1.5k.  beta reader.  @hobi-gif beta’d a bit of this but i wrote most of it after so any dumb mistakes are my fault and my fault alone. 🤡  author note.  this isn’t 100% what you requested but... the first part kind of is, and then this is the resolution (because people requested it). if you’d like another drabble, please feel free to request!

In true fashion, Jungkook tries to fix the problem in the only way he knows how:  with money.

He puts the two of you up at the Four Seasons for the entire week, orders room service at all hours of the day and has treats from all of your favourite spots in the city delivered.  (Macarons, candied nuts, that one bakery that does those salted honey pies you inhale like a wild animal.)  He runs baths for you, fills the tub with your favourite scents (always Diptyque) and massages his tattooed hands all over your scalp.  He makes sure you wake up to the smell of French toast and fall asleep on a bed of roses, curled up in his arms and little else.  

He spoils you until you can hardly see the floor, designer shopping bags strewn throughout the suite.  (His sisters help him decide what to buy, mouths sealed shut otherwise.  They know better than to get too involved in his relationship with you.)  Dinner is somewhere new every night but always at a Michelin-starred restaurant, space booked out to the extent it’s just the two of you and a bouquet of your favourite flowers.

Of course, he thinks things are better.  Assumes they must be, because there’s never been a time where money hasn’t solved his problems.  No matter how much, throw enough of it at something and the problem will go away.

But you don’t go away.  Neither does your sadness.

“Baby.”  It’s your last night together before you’re back to some semblance of normalcy (not that Jungkook’s life was very normal to begin with).  He thinks he’ll miss it more than you will, if your lacklustre reactions have been any indication.

You’re fresh out of the shower - you’d turned down his offer of a bath, locked the door on your way into the washroom - and wrapped in a fuzzy white robe.  “What?”  You’re focused on running a comb through your hair, unbothered by your boyfriend who sits at the edge of the bed, legs wide and hands extended toward you.

It bothers him a bit (read: a lot).  You’re better than you were, offering tiny smiles when he begs for them, accepting his kisses without complaint. It isn’t you though.  Not the snark and the sass and the decades of friendship that normally thread your relationship.  A book with its spine about to snap, held together by cobweb.

Despite the time you’ve spent together the last few days - almost every hour, sans when you were at work - you’ve been distant still.  Not mean, of course (no, never mean, because you’ve always been soft on him) but different.  Softer and harder all at once.

“Come here,”  he coaxes, fingers curling around your wrist, pulling you between his knees effortlessly.

Normally, you’d curl around his shoulders, rake your nails through his hair.  This time, you only allow yourself to be with him, palms flat upon the ridges of muscle plating his back.  You don’t pass affection into his hair, don’t form a cradle for him to rest his head.  (It doesn’t feel like home - not like it should.)

Jungkook hates it.  Absolutely fucking abhors it.  He wants his girlfriend - his best friend, his love - back.  Not this spectre that’s taken up your space. 

(He almost forgets that he’s the reason you’re the way you are.)

“What’s wrong?”  The shape of his mouth curls, bottom lip pouting into that trademark expression that usually has you relenting, melting into a puddle of goo in his arms. 

This time, you shrug, movement dislodging the soft soft terry cloth from your shoulders.  “Nothing.”  Dumb as he might be - oblivious in the way only someone like he can be - he can tell you’re lying.  Offering the untruth right between your teeth, expecting him to accept it.

That bothers him even more.  It’s one thing to put up an act, entertain him as if you were a court jester.  It’s entirely another to treat him as if he’s a child, feeding him lies without a care.

(Notwithstanding the fact that Jeon Jungkook is, for all intents and purposes, a manchild.)

“You’re a shit liar,”  he retorts, grumpy, coloured green and blue until his insides feel like mud.  It’s strange, the discomfort that sinks beneath his skin and sticks his bones together.  Like wading through quicksand or a bog, stuck to a place he doesn’t want to be.  “Talk to me.”

“About what?”  You’re deflecting, refusing to meet his stare, holding yourself within the confines of your robe as if you can’t bear to open up to him.

That hurts more than he expects.  Slips sadness in alongside the frustration.

“About what’s bothering you.”  The fact he has to do this is driving him mad.  It’s akin to pulling teeth and he hates the dentist.

You scoff then - which he doesn’t expect.  The sound kicks him right in the stomach, a sucker punch he doesn’t see coming.  “You want me to talk about you?”  It’s an uncharacteristically mean answer, brought on by whatever’s been bothering you, turning blood to battery acid.

“Excuse me?”  

“You heard me.”  

For the briefest moment, he considers lashing out in response - giving back exactly what he’s getting.  But then he spies it, just there, past the usual warmth of your stare.  It’s hiding behind crystallised amber, peeking past the edges.  So much sadness it steals his breath right from his lungs, stripping him bare of red hot fury and leaving him lily white and lovesick.   

When Jungkook speaks again, it’s feather soft, terribly light, begging and pleading in a single utterance.  “Please.”

There’s silence for a beat, then another.  It stings for each second it continues, treading misery all over the thing that beats in his chest.  He’s not used to this.  (You’re his first and only love.  A part of him is grateful for that;  another hates even this.)

He almost asks again - readies it on the tip of his tongue.

Then you’re unloading, giving him everything he’d asked for and more.   

“I love you,”  you tell him in a reedy voice, uneven like the foundation you’ve built together.  Haphazardly thrown into place and hoped for the best on.  “But you’re an idiot.”   

(He deserves that, he supposes.)

Your voice is static, stretched thin and gossamer thin.  Cheek pressed to his curls, you find comfort in your hiding place, as if shielded by the dark.  “I’ve loved you for years and that’ll never stop.  But when you do stupid shit, it’s so hard.”  Your words are honeyed, thick and heavy as they lay into each strand, seep quietly into his ears.  Where they’d normally fill him with ecstasy, delight, send him on a sugar high - these ache, sink right to the pit of his stomach.  “I would give you anything.  Anything.”

“I know.”  Really, he does.  He’s known that since you were kids.  It’s why he’d fallen in love with you, even before he’d realised he had.

“Then why do you test me?”  

It’s not rhetorical.  You want an answer - something real you can hold between your hands.  Something to act as the salve for all the hurt, to bandage the wounds left behind by your uncertainty.  (He’s the same as you - needs to know he means as much to you as you do him.  But you show it in different ways and that’s what’s brought the two of you to this point.)

“I’m sorry,”  he answers, sliding his arms more securely around your waist, face buried into the soft fabric of the robe, into the warmth that lies beneath, into the heart that beats a rhythm identical to his.

“I don’t want sorry.”  After all, you’d already gotten one.  Weeks ago, when he’d pulled the stupid sophomoric stunt, he’d apologised.  Had been apologising every day since then, but in all the wrong ways.  “I want better.” 

It’s as if all of his bones have been cracked open, the weight of your words settling like sand, discomfort and grit snapping his head to attention.  “You want better?”  There’s nothing but alarm in Jungkook’s expression, eyes wide, throat knotted in worry.  “I—”

As always, you read him like an open book.  Hands smooth down the sides of his cheeks, palms searing over his reddened cheeks.  “Not like that.”  You’re reassuring him even as it should be the other way around.  (How ironic.)

He exhales a deep breath.  Doesn’t tear his stare from yours.  

“I just need you to be better.”  You’d never ask this of him if it weren’t important, if you didn’t feel his ignorance and immaturity splintering your insides into glass shards.  You’ve always accepted him exactly as he was, all the good and bad and ridiculous.  

This is different though.  You love him.  You’re taking a chance with him just as he is with you.  Laying your heart in his hands and trusting him to keep it safe, handing out the key in the hopes of building a home.  

So you ask - for both your sakes. 

He promises he will be and you believe him.  Have to.

For both of your sakes.

[izzyliker]

twt thread on sanctioning russia (should be googlable): SanaSaeed/status/1498713750592970754. not endorsing it just sounds like what you were looking for

imo it kinda makes sense but tbh this

is not imo significantly different from what the russia sanctions are. maybe i’m reading it wrong but the pulling out of the country of foreign investors would have the same effect on the economy. she says it’s “not about crippling the Israeli economy but removing support that directly upholds the structure of occupation and apartheid” but a significant part of what upholds the structures of occupation and apartheid IS the economy and pulling out is putting pressure on the economy. that is the point of it. aiui free floating currency tends to behave erratically when it’s cut off from stable currencies like the usd or euro.

also: “US &EU support upholds apartheid. US/EU money isn't propping up the Russian invasion.” which is just not true and russia & its economy wouldn’t care about being cut off from the euro & usd if it was. like the whole thing is that the money exchanged for goods and services w russian govt or banks is going to funding military operations.

i think also that like when she says “bds doesn’t do this!” it’s not really answering my question (neither of ur fault bc she’s not answering my question LOL) bc bds is a toothless, entirely voluntary movement, not a government policy. it doesn’t do that because it can’t.

so i guess the answer is a combo of “they’re actually doing it instead of it being a theoretical thing” and “well it’s different because [describes the same thing]”

i don’t think bds is bad btw i think israel should be sanctioned but it’s soooooo deeply naive to think that you can target only the government and not affect (or indeed destroy!) the economy for the ordinary citizens. and the notion that western meddling in economies of other countries by cutting them off from the usd/eu economies is bad, except for with israel, where it both wouldn’t have that big of an effect on the general population but also would make them uh… stop being a settler state… seems a bit silly. in general she seems to have a few tweets that are like “oh so you can confiscate the assets of oligarchs?” re megayachts and other hidden assets being seized in a very strange whataboutism tone re: american billionaires so it seems like she just doesn’t really want any sort of consequences to be faced by russian govt and this is just like one way she phrases it

[perplexities]

yeahnot to point out what you might already know but they definitly do this stuff on purpose like to cause the exact reaction youre having, banks do it schools do it its about people getting so close and them alarming them so that they crash, its not a cospiracy theory its literally to cause mass suffering bc it keeps ppl down (poor and mentally ill) so id say the reaction youre having is literally The Point and its not your fault (ur parents are wrong for not being comforting and compasionate) check with the school and find a payment program that can spread the cost out or go directly to the program leaders and talk to their faces about it, in person meetings do have an impact and explain the amount of time and money youve already poured into the program. beyond that, go to your student counsler your teachers etc involve as many ppl as you can the more ppl that know the more likely youll have help, beyond that you could always try to take out a loan from a bank evryone says avoid those butliterally like if the alternative is not finishing then,,,,,youre better off in debt than wasting all that time. time is more inportant than money. did they give a specific reason why theyre threatening you at this point?

WELL IT WORKED (they literally caused me to have the worst depressive and anxious episode i have had in months!) but. ya they were threatening me bc my program is basically done by next week and did not want me to complete my placement/internship next month without paying them in full and basically said they won’t let me graduate without a fully paid tuition. so it was “overdue” payments which i was never notified for and NOW it’s being sprung up on me??? like wtf but honestly omg i need u to know that this msg genuinely saved me. i was in such bad shape this morning but i took ur advice sincerely and spoke to my academic financial advisor and my bank who advised me on what to do. so like i was actually able to work out a payment arrangement plan w the director of the school where i can still continue w my program w smaller payments biweekly <333 so thank u SO much fr beloved mutual!

[literaphobe]

Im so sorry...is your sister a minor

yeah she’s 17. i really don’t blame her it just sucks. anyway i think i needed to work through this but its also way too long so 

lol like that was supposed to be my birthday gift but it has now become a romantic getaway for a man and his gf (who is 18 years younger than him) and my sister and one of her friends. at like. one of the most expensive hotels in the country. the same man who guilted me into giving private tutoring to 8 students at a time while i was a student because he apparently is super poor and has no money and no job. (i started tutoring for extra money and to just. have a job. because he has also given me shit about that before too. if i don’t have a job i’m like a useless baby child who he can never trust to be responsible for her own life. turns out that was just a load of bullshit to trap me. and yeah i was teaching 8-9 students at some point and i think i was like telling him hey i don’t know if this is a good idea. its a little crazy. and he was like no u should keep doing it. its money u should just earn it. we aren’t doing great financially and at some point we might need ur help paying for ur sister’s tutoring classes. and so i did and it hurt me SO much last semester. + covid but also. it was tutoring mostly lmao) 

anyway i just. the thought of everything made me cry a lot in the shower lol. like that. quiet cry where u are sobbing uncontrollably but u have to mute it as much as possible so that ur mother who’s washing dishes in the kitchen doesn’t hear it

today we had some ikea furniture delivered. and i was assembling it. and my mom told me “when we were married i was always the one putting together the IKEA furniture. ur dad would always get frustrated and give up” and then in the shower i realized that’s exactly how my dad treats me lmao. i am.... his ikea furniture

so like. i can actually trace the most recent incident of abuse i faced from him back to when. i allowed him to “help” me with my university degree transfer issues. u know. because i couldn’t do the coding degree he pressured me into doing. and wanted to do something else (i could’ve gone to my uni open house w my friends. who ended up entering the arts faculty. and i WANTED to do psychology in the arts faculty too. but my dad and his gf were there. and they just. told me if i did that i would have no future and no job prospects when i graduated. which is SO fucking funny because both of them individually. their grades were super fucking shit and they were never good enough to get into the school that i did. so they had no fucking business telling me what i should or shouldn’t do. but i didn’t know that because they lied to me. my dad lied to me about so many things to scare me into thinking i couldn’t do anything. and at this point in my life. they were still monitoring my internet usage. and there were restrictions set on my phone. mere. months. before i was meant to be a university student. even getting restrictions off my phone was a big fight i had to have. i bought my own laptop with money i made from this f&b job because i knew if i waited for them to get one for me i would be waiting forever. and i was just so fucking scared of them so i got a. ‘practical’ degree. and then slid off my adhd meds because even that felt like part of the trap they kept me in for years) 

i decided i wanted to do linguistics and become a linguistics major but my school wasn’t letting me. and it had been a year. so i let him and my mom get involved. which i had SUCH a bad feeling about. an awful awful bad feeling. i was right lmao. i should’ve known his involvement wouldn’t have done shit and would also. set me up for yet another Major Traumatic Incident. which i have spent the entirety of 2020 trying to avoid. do you know how stressful and tiring it feels to just like. every moment around ur own father is u just trying to walk on eggshells praying and hoping that nothing bad will happen. i tried so hard and it fell apart in the end anyway. he couldn’t fix this problem so he took it out on me

my school essentially texted us back saying “we get a shit load of transfer requests every year, even from students from other schools. ur grades from the classes u took aren’t good enough to justify a transfer” and like they were right. i had been off my meds. various things in life had happened. my commute situation wasn’t helping matters either (to and from was 2 hours each) and it has just. not been great. grandad passed away like 2 weeks ago or something at that point. which. may have been an underlying cause for the situation. or maybe he was always going to blow up at me and get violent and crazy. idk

anyway. i guess u could say it is ‘my fault’ for cutting off contact w my father n not speaking to him. but also. he threatened to throw me into a mental institute. and also. violently refused to let me leave the house so he could keep yelling at me. he physically would not let me. i yelled at him to just let me go but he implied that he would actually hurt me if i tried to get past him again. and he said all sorts of shit like he can be crazy too and he can be crazier than me which is something he’s said before. what triggered me to leave was. ok so in the beginning he was giving me the same thing he has yelled at me about over the years. i am super super fucking smart but i waste it all away on purpose and refuse to get my shit together and that’s somehow a personal attack on him. i can’t remember most of it by now. but anyway. i was tearing up and keeping absolutely quiet just waiting for it to be over so i could leave and go to another room. but then he started to. yell at me for crying. its so fucking ironic and weird because in a separate previous incident i was complaining about my school and how much it all was. and i was barely raising my voice but he was like woah woah stop being so emotional!!! as if he doesn’t regularly scream and shout and punch walls or whatever the fuck over the SMALLEST bullshit. anyway. he started to scold me for crying. and then he said ‘if you go out in the future and get a job are you going to cry like this too when ur boss scolds you? or are you acting like this because i’m family and you think its okay?’ as if. i have never had a job. as if i have never had to deal with a boss. bro i swear to fucking god. i am dead to most things now because of him. he can’t do shit. but. in the moment i found this so ridiculous and just SO fucking stupid that i left. i had had enough. i started laughing and i walked out and went to grab my bag so i could go. i didn’t. get very far obviously. and when my dad started threatening me i genuinely thought i was going to die. he was so angry and deranged that i thought he was going to murder me. my heart was going just. so so so fast. even tho i was just standing there. and i told him he was terrifying me (to which he said “GOOD”) and i just NEEDED to get out of this situation and get some space (to which he said “NO” repeatedly). he refused to admit that he would use actual violence to prevent me from leaving the house. he told me he would NEVER let me leave. which was fucking ridiculous. i stay at his house. 2 days out of the fucking week. he literally shoved me backwards so hard when i was trying to leave and he wanted to stop me. he also refused to admit that he used violence or was planning to use violence. i tried to point out this flaw in his logic to him. i said ur going to hurt me. he said no. i said ok then if ur not going to hurt me then let me walk past you and leave the house. he also said no again. and then our cousins rang the door at some point. so then he started to come to his senses. he was like. ‘the reason i don’t want to let you leave is because i’m afraid you’ll hurt yourself.’ which was so fucking stupid. i have NEVER threatened to hurt myself in front of him. i have never shared ANY thoughts of self harm in front of him. he’s the one who would get into massive fights w his dad and threaten to jump out of the window in anger (and i don’t even mean when he was younger. he would fight with his 93 year old dad. fucking stupid bitch). i made this clear to him that i was never ever planning on hurting myself. and then he said fine and let me leave. meaning i had to answer the door to my cousins in tears while he got to walk back to his room and lock himself in

he also. at some point during this argument, told me there would be consequences to me leaving. i guess i know those consequences now lmao. and like. i went home to my moms house. my cousins walked me there. i still haven’t told them. idk if my dad told them. my dad texted me to gaslight me. said that when he said he was going to put me in a mental hospital he meant it as a friendly suggestion because of ‘the state i was in’. and that it ‘wasn’t meant as a threat’ and like. oof. healthy suggestions aren’t meant to be yelled. anyway. i might be texting him. just to inform him about developments and to like. i guess set boundaries maybe. idk. i can’t carry on like this. i hate him and am terrified of him but. cutting him out of my life is basically inviting ostracism from his side of the family. and it’s putting so much stress on me. so. lol

[cybernightwanderer]

My Toxic Workplace

 Funny how in quarantine my boss cant stand the idea of not manipulating me and harm me in any way. During the first month of quarantine, for example if she couldnt clarify a payment or contract time question i had, i mean first i would ask her, and if the reply didnt satisfy me ( basicly she would say she didnt know ) , i would then ask the human resources. And she would literally GET MAD AT ME and then private message me after she found out that i went to them for awnsers, saying “ OH I HOPE THEY CLARIFIED YOUR QUESTION, ALTOUGHT ITS  REALLY COMPLICATED SUBJECT, NEXT TIME YOU CAN ASK ME , YOU SHOULDVE ASKED ME“ Sure fine all good, i asked her a follow up on the subject and she literally AGAIN didnt know whow to awnser SO SHE TOLD ME TO GOOGLE SEARCH IT  wtf.

HOW THE FUCK DOES A MANAGER TELL U TO SEARCH ON GOOGLE FOR COMPANY MATTERS???? Ok All good All fine. She sent me two messages in between that time and after , saying “ I really miss you! How are you “ And obviously I DIDNT REPLY i mean , this woman is a fucking monster who constantly mistreets me at work. I mean ITS THE WOMAN WHO WHEN I CAME BACK FROM MY MEDICAL LEAVE FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO WALK, ON THE FIRST DAY I STARTED WORK AGAIN KEPT CALLING ME LAZY FOR WALKING SLOWLY AND NOT DOING TOO MUCH EFFORT, IN A VERY NOT BUSY WORK DAY, I MEAN WE HAD 3 CLIENTS ! BITCH WHAT KIND OF PART OF I COULDNT WALK AND NOW HAVE TO SLOWLY RECOVER ON MY MEDICAL NOTICE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND? AND STARTED HUMILIATING ME CALLING ME IRRESPONSABLE IN FRONT OF THE CLIENTS TELLING ME IM DUMB  BECAUSE I DIDNT KNOW A NEW PLATE WICH APPARENTLY DOESNT EVEN ACTUALLY EXIST IN THE NEW MENU THEY ADDED WHILE I WAS IN MEDICAL CARE FOR NOT WALKING, AND NO ONE EVEN DARED TO NOTIFY ME, AND HER AS MY BOSS NOT NOTIFYING ME W T F . ARE YOU MENTALY RETARDED WOMAN???? AND THAT ONE TIME SHE DIDNT WANNA DO HER JOB EVEN THO I DO OVERTIME ALL THE TIME BECAUSE IM FORCED AND NO ONE PAYS ME , AND ONE DAY I TOOK 10 MINUTES, 10 MINUTES OF MY WORK DAY TO GO TO THE POST OFFICE BECAUSE I HAD A REALLY IMPORTANT PACKADGE COMING UP.

AND 2 COWORKERS OF MINE SKIPPED WORK, AND SHE MADE IT AS IF IT WERE MY FAULT?!!! AND KEPT HARRASSING ME OVER THE PHONE AND CALLING ME IRRESPONSABLE AND DUMB AND EVEN THRETNING ME IF I DIDNT DO WHAT SHE ORDERED SHE WOULD LITERALLY TREAT ME EVEN WORSE. WHAT DID SHE ORDER ME TO STOP DOING YOU MAY ASK?

TO FIND MY MISSING COWORKERS!! WTF THAT IS HER JOB AS A MANAGER NOT ME!!!

AND ALSO FOR THIS :

WELL, I WORK IN AN ITALIAN RESTAURANT, WITH WHITE, FUCKING WHITE UNIFORMS, AND I BARELY HAVE ANY DAYS OFF, I WORK OVERTIME EVERYDAY I BARELY GET PAYED FOR IT, I GET HOME AT 2 AM I LEAVE HOME TO WORK AT 6 AM.

WE DONT HAVE A FAIR AMOUNT OF WORKERS FOR EACH DAY/SHIFT AND WE ONLY HAVE 2 FITTING UNIFORMS

AND THIS BITCH KEPT HARRASING ME FOR MY UNIFORM HAVING A FEW YELLOW STAINS ON IT.

BITCH I DONT EVEN HAVE THE TIME TO EAT OR SLEEP LET ALONG THE MONEY OR TIME TO DRY CLEAN THIS.

I MEAN I WASH IT I BLEACH IT , BUT OVERTIME THESE UNIFORMS STAIN BECAUSE OF THE MAIN TOMATO SAUCE, AND NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU WASH AND BLEACH IT , THE STAINS WILL STAY.

AND SHE COMPARED ME TO MY CHEF THAT DOESNT HAVE STAINED UNIFORMS, BITCH HE GETS NEW ONES WHEN HE NEEDS, HES NEVER IN THE KITCHEN, AND HE HAS ONLY A MORNING SCHEDULE AND HAS 3 OR 4 DAYS OFF EVERY 10 DAYS W T F.

OFC HIS UNIFORM IS CLEAN!!!

IM HERE EVERYDAY FOR 12 HOURS STRAIGH MOST OF THE TIME.

AND SHE HARRASSED ME FOR IT A LOT DAILY WITH YELLING AND HUMILLIATING, AND ONE DAY I WAS SO TIRED I WENT OUTSIDE AND I CRIED DURING WORK TIME. 

AND SHE STRAIGH UP GOT MAD AT ME , BECAUSE I CRIED AND MY COWORKERS SAW ME CRYING, AND THAT MAKES HER LOOK BAD?? LOL SHE STRAIGHT UP HARRASSED ME OVER THE PHONE AND THREATNED ME THAT IF I DID THAT AGAIN SHE WOULD DO EVEN WORSE TO ME,

BITCH I DIDNT FORGET THIS AND I SURE AS HELL DONT FORGET WHAT YOU DO ALMOST EVERYDAY!!!! SO YEAH I WONT REPLY UR “ NICE “ MESSAGES OFF WORK BECAUSE I AM NOT UR BITCH, AND I AM NOT HERE FOR U TO ABUSE!!

AND I SURE AS HELL DONT FUCKING MISS YOU LOL.

AS IF IT WERENT OBVIOUS.

SHE LITERALY IS RESTLESS BECAUSE SHE CANNOT ABUSE ME OUTSIDE OF WORK RIGHT NOW.

AND TO MAKE THAT CLEAR, SHE SENT ME A MESSAGE DEMANDING ME TO REPLY WHY I DIDNT REPLY TO HER TEXTLOL.

NOW AS A BOSS SHE IS TAKING THAT AS AN OPORTUNITY TO ABUSE ME INDIRECTLY NOT PASSING ME ALONG IMPORTANT COMPANY INFORMATION, SUCH AS FOR EXAMPLE : WE HAVE A NEW DOOR CODE, SHE DIDNT GIVE ME , BUT GAVE EVERYONE ELSE.

WE HAVE IMPORTANT MEETING, WICH I HAVE TO PARTICIPATE, SHE DIDNT FUCKING TELL ME. LOOOOOOOOOL W T F

[noctvrncls-blog]

𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝐈.𝐃. : / / [ jake gyllenhaal + cis male + he/him ] — thomas o'malley? oh, you mean tommy! they are a thirty-five year old locksmith known as the jack of all trades. i heard some sketchy stuff about them, like how they break into big corporations! oof, no wonder the mad titan was after them. to be fair, i think they’re appealing + jocose, even if halting + dubious. did you know? their big secret is redacted. cheap warm beer, empty motel rooms lit by neon signs, oil stained hands.

hey my name is ron, i’m 23 and i have a basketball game tomorrowwww. i know vine intros aren’t what kids do anymore but whenever i introduce myself it’s all i can think abt i’m so sroyury. anyways. i’m excited to b here, it’s been a minute since i last rped so yk, i’m rusty. but i’m also here to love all ur charas. now let’s talk abt this fucking idiot aka tommy o’malley.

first of all, he’s the embodiment of this vine

old, tired, the bags under his eyes? they’re not fucking designer, they some bootleg chanels tops

hailing from a family of irish descent, tommy’s dad aka danny o’malley figured it would be hard to compete with all the irish pubs out there, deciding to go into locksmith business. you see, the o’malleys back in ireland, they had a little bit of ease with the sleight of hand. it was a tradition that was passed down to tommy’s dad from his grandpa, and to his grandpa from his greatgrandpa. so yeah, they made bucks stealing little things on the side of having a legitimate business.

of course, it was only a matter of time before thomas himself learned the trade. he must have been seven or eight by the time he mastered it, and his father was weirdly proud of tommy’s innate gift. of course, the more tommy practiced the better he got at it, capable of stealing a man’s watch in a fraction of seconds.

as tommy grew up, he helped his dad out around the shop, selling and fixing locks, sort of a wolfgang like gig from sense8, yk??? but not really because instead of being broody and somber tommy well, he was an idiot. he liked to laugh and to drink and he’s fucking loud, a lot like his family

either way, at some point, tommy got so good at cracking safes that it kind of became an idea, on the back of their minds, that they should do this for profit. it started out little, a few jobs here and there and as tommy slipped into his teens, he got bolder, better, extracting secrets from the most challenging locks

to the outer world, no one knew that the o’malley son was responsible for cracking the codes and the revenue from the back of the shop, with his father taking credit for the misdemeanor. according to tommy’s dad, his son shouldn’t worry about things like that and just focus on school and being a normal kid, and not a product.

that’s how the titan got to his father. no good deed goes unpunished and definitely no bad deed does either in the town of atlas. after pulling a big job, danny o’malley was found with shattered legs and spends the rest of his life confined to a wheelchair.

so yeah, you could say that tommy really feels guilty for his dad taking the fall for his deeds. and he had sort of a personal vendetta against the mad titan.

still, though more careful nowadays, tommy still pulls heists. invading into government property, stealing stuff people pay a high price to have handed to them. documents, titles, you name it. he’s good at opening doors, and that’s what he’ll say to any client of his, the ones that come for a change of doorlocks or the ones who come in for more illegal trades.

tommy is definitely a mess and doesn’t know what’s going on 99% of the time

has a very juvenile sense of humor tbh, but he’s charming yk, he’s easy to talk to and friendly enough and idk, he helps old ladies with their groceries and he’s pretty much just a normal dude??? like, just wants some peace and quiet it’s not his fault that he’s really good at being a con

wears a lot of layers he’s always cold??? like denim jackets w hoodies and sweaters, just a grizzly lookin man

plant dad

his motel room is a fucking mess, a lot of work related stuff laying around (yk, the legal part of his work ofc)

also he lives in a motel because well, he sold the house he lived with his dad to put his dad under nursing care cause his dad needs it and he doesn’t feel like just buying an apartment yk, he’d feel lonely in one and he craves some social interaction and he kinda has that living in a motel

v good w kids but will teach them how to steal money from your purse

loveable guy although terrible social skills

probably has a nervous breakdown every 3 to 5 months

was in love once and it ended with him getting hurt so now he just lives in his cave like plato’s cave allegory and doesn’t think about love at all bc haha he’s fragile and hates to cry in public

also good w animals but doesn’t have any

honestly??? without the whole thief part?? a solid dude. too bad he’s a fucking idiot 24/7

oh also, here’s his pinterest board

if you’d like to plot w this mess, pls like this or think happy thoughts n i shall storm into ur dms so i can love u down. i have a d*scord n its kurtistown resident#2978 if u wanna plot thru there. that’s all ig!!!

[brvdleysaved]

ok first off b4 i say anythin else dnt...... judge bradley’s blog rn i dnt get my laptop bk until wednesday so i am? stranded in a photoshopless land. it’s very tragic. anyway. and scene! je suis... nai oh me..... bk again w probably my fav muse of all time so let us! leap right in! p.s. her pinterest is here

CIS FEMALE — ever hear people say BRADLEY MILLIGAN looks a lot like MARGARET QUALLEY? I think SHE is about 24, so it doesn’t really work. The PSYCHOLOGY major is a SENIOR that is from QUEENS, NY. They can be +ADVENTUROUS, but they can also be -ABRASIVE. I think BRADLEY might be SHEEP. They are living in OFF CAMPUS BUT AFFILIATED WITH BALTA. ( nai. 22. gmt. she/her. )

the kind of sour cherry only certain people have a taste for

once drank a bottle of spiced rum, insisted she could still do a cartwheel and accidentally kicked an old man’s front tooth out in the process. proceeded 2 collapse into a flower bed and laugh so much abt it that she cried

barely takes anything seriously 50% of the time and is angry the other 50%

if she was a coffee she’d be black with five grains of sugar that you couldn’t taste until the last sip

father runs a gang n strip club in queens called ‘no angels’ tht fronts an affluent drug trade, primarily coke. his name is tony milligan n his gang is p infamous around there fr being jst like…. completely cutthroat n awful. they were nicknamed ‘tony’s rottweilers’ by locals bc he bsically has all of these trained dogs on leash at his command n they’re still a growing organisation tday

he’s pretty much the worst human being alive n bradley hs like….. a lot of issues with herself as a result of years of toxicity n abuse

in terms of more family bkground info her mum’s name was alyssa n she vanished when bradley was 12. jst like…. into thin air. nothing. no note. zilch. gan! n when bradley asked her dad abt it his response was essentially “guess she didn’t love us enough to stay”. as bradley’s got older tho n become (without intention) more involved in the business side of things, it’s become pretty clear there was far more to the story. they had a horrible marriage n tony ws quite violent at the best of times, which didn’t help the fact tht alyssa ws struggling a lot w severe depression n rly just… not in the mindset to b dealing w anything else on top of tht, even where motherhood ws concerned. bradley p much… would look after her a lot n they’d both b scared of her dad n it was just a whole mess. anyway im rambling bt basically tony (bradley’s dad) gt wind of alyssa sleeping w men tht worked fr him n he just… got rid. bradley’s kind of worked out over the yrs tht her mum didn’t jst leave on her own accord n tht something must hav happened to her bt she’s too scared of her dad to ever directly accuse him

when her mum went all of her dad’s cruelty pretty mch got channelled straight onto her. it ws diluted between two before bt as u can probably imagine her upbringing was jst…. a steep downhill decline frm tht point onwards

she learnt ways 2 deal w the incurring trauma bt they weren’t healthy ones at all! bsically jst. will do or take anything fr the distraction. chases a thrill like it’s the only way to remind her she’s alive. has absolutely no regard fr her own wellbeing n sometimes gets other ppl in trouble too bc she’s so insatiably reckless

high functioning alcoholic. if u ever see her w a coffee cup u jst kno tht one sniff will confirm high alcohol percentage. honestly idk hw she does it her liver must b yellin

she hd….2 separate stints of psychiatric hospitalisation n she never tlks abt it. like ever. acknowledging she’s been vulnerable is her worst nightmare n bc of the way her dad raised her she always thinks any sign of struggling within herself is weakness. truly does…. not kno how to properly emotion

honestly. im probably missing a million things bc i kind of feel like a microwaved shrimp as i write this bt. basically her life is jst the worst a true… abomination! bc im evil like tht sometimes

loyal to a point of fault. if she cares abt u and u murder a man in cold blood she’ll brawl anyone that says ur guilty

honestly wld probably fight a person over anything. sometimes she’ll jst be having a bad day n she’ll burst n take it out on whoever says the wrong thing. a minefield!

has the worst luck in romance…. ever. the majority of her past bfs hav been absolute beasts n as a result she kind of has the ‘romance is dead n love is a lie’ mentality

speakin of which i feel like she’s bi bt wldnt have dated a girl or anythin. like guys r probably…. her preference just bc historically theyv treated her worse n she hs a very self destructive personality like that. sexy!

dresses like courtney love, 2014 sky ferreira and a character from this is england had a baby. mostly wears stolen clothes from strangers and jackets that swamp her. hair is p much always a wild mess n she usually hd kind of smudgy/smoky makeup bcos apparently she’s allergic to combs and generally looking presentable… relatable content

personality wise she’s v sarcastic. sometimes blunt. kind of has a habit of…. assessing a person n she’s quite perceptive bc she’s been trained to b by the way she always has to monitor her dad’s expression fr the slightest emotion change. she’s quite confident n can p much mke a conversation out of whatever. sort of independent too like she hs a bunch of friends bt she doesn’t care abt going out places alone if she’s in a certain mood n jst wants…… to get into chaos. she’s probably kind of known around campus/town bt itd b a 50/50 balance between bein known as intimidating n bein known as that one girl tht always gets into anarchy

likes: fishnets, stealing cars, water guns and whiskey

dislikes: amy schumer, honesty, yellow tulips and going home

in terms of Plots

hm. mayb someone tht knows her frm home/queens??? like tht frequents no angels (her dad’s strip club) or picks up frm there or smthn

i feel like she probably deals coke bt its like. Select Dealing. like she doesn’t need....2 do it fr income or anythin she jst. gets bored n is like cool may as well mke some money n possibly get robbed ig! anythin fr the thrill! 

anyone..... shes brawled in the past like. she’s literally a menace i cnt express this enough. wil jst randomly throw a drink in someone’s face fr no reason bc she’s bored. she’s probably pissed off 1000 diff ppl in 1000 diff ways. the possibilities r endless n i jst think tht’s a sexy prospect!

fwbs perhaps??? exes??? (probably ws a tumultuous relationship wtever.... ur muse is like like bradley is. a handful)

mayb someone tht she met at an aa meeting when she hd to go fr a court mandated thing one time after bein arrested fr public indecency. i feel like there’s probably a rly expensive statue somewhere thts fancily Sculpted n she like. did a flying kick n kicked the dick of it off n gt arrested fr it

ppl she....... Goes Wild Goes Crazy w. truly jst the most self destructive person alive so anyone w a similar mindset wld b a hellish bt fun combination

on the contrary a gd influence cld b nice perhaps? like someone tht genuinely cares abt her n she jst doesn’t kno hw to compute it

um. honestly the world’s our oyster. hmu n we cn brainstorm if none of tht catches ur eye!

[ezragold]

With a Little Help from My Friends

A/N: Happy last-day-of-Pegoryu-week! Let’s celebrate by reading... day 2′s prompt... No one ever said I was good at preparing things, okay. AO3 link: [here]

Day 2: First Date

Title: With a Little Help from My Friends

Rating: Teen

Summary: Ryuji has successfully asked Akira out! Now if only he could figure out something special for them to do. All of his ideas just feel like their every day routine, and he’s pulling his hair out trying to come up with a way to make it special. All of the thieves seem to have their own ideas of the perfect date, 90% of which are entirely unhelpful, as Ryuji soon realizes.

[ THURSDAY, 6:50PM ]

crossbonez is online

crossbonez has entered The Dungeon of Unspeakable Acts

crossbonez: GUYS I NEED HELP

crossbonez: ALSO WTF WHO CHANGED THE CHANNEL NAME

palette-cleanser: There’s no need to yell about it.

crossbonez: YOU CAN’T HEAR ME SMARTASS

killerqueen: Futaba renamed it and I can’t figure out how to change it back. What’s wrong?

memejed: me! muahaha!!!! you’ll never figure out how to change it back!

memejed: boo makoto types too fast :(

palette-cleanser: Futaba, naturally.

palette-cleanser: Oh.

memejed: lmaooooo

crossbonez: ok ok is akira in this chat??

yougimmethecrepes: I mean technically

yougimmethecrepes: but I think he’s had this channel muted for like a month

killerqueen: Understandable.

crossbonez: o sick

crossbonez: OK SO I ASKED HIM OUT AND I NEED ADVICE

yougimmethecrepes: OMG RYUJI

memejed: GHIDNDOSKFHSKX WHAAAAT

killerqueen: !

yougimmethecrepes: DID HE SAY YES??

palette-cleanser: My most heartfelt congratulations!

crossbonez: of course he said yes wtf guys

crossbonez: why wouldn’t he, i’m a catch

memejed: so’s a big ol slimy fish

memejed: its perspective

crossbonez: can we ban her?

killerqueen: She’s the room admin.

memejed: IM ADMIN MY CITY NOW

memejed: HECK how do u type so much faster than me????

crossbonez: OH MY GOD CAN WE FOCUS ON ME PLEASE

palette-cleanser: something tells me you wouldn’t allow us the chance to do anything different.

yougimmethecrepes: go ahead Ryuji, what’s up?

crossbonez: i didn’t think about what we should do on the date so i kinda panicked when he asked and told him i had everything taken care of but i don’t

crossbonez: ive never taken care of anything in my life

crossbonez: please help yall know im not smart

yougimmethecrepes: omg THAT’S what ur worried about??? HOE ur best friend is a dating expert. I gotchu

crossbonez: lmfao ann youve never been on a date

yougimmethecrepes: maybe not

yougimmethecrepes: but i have seen so many romcoms

crossbonez: oooooo my god Kill me

crossbonez: wait holy shit have any of you even been on a date before

crossbonez: NOW YOU ALL STOP TYPING

crossbonez: this is the worst i hate my life

yougimmethecrepes: yusuke if you say anything about painting my nude as a date i’ll block you

palette-cleanser: There was that time when Ann came to the old studio in order for me to paint her portrait.

palette-cleanser: It was already half-written when you sent that.

yougimmethecrepes: OHHH MY GOD

palette-cleanser: I didn’t want to just let the reply go to waste.

yougimmethecrepes: BLOCKED

palette-cleanser: :(

killerqueen: Okay.

killerqueen: I’ll DM you, Ryuji.

crossbonez: oh thank god

[ THURSDAY, 7:04 PM ]  

[ killerqueen has sent you a message! ]

killerqueen: Firstly,

killerqueen: good for you, asking out Akira! That was really brave. How did it go, if that’s not too intrusive?

crossbonez: fine I think?? morgana kept cockblocking me but he got bored of watching us watch bad movies and left so

crossbonez: i just kinda

crossbonez: asked

crossbonez: and he said yeah

crossbonez: so now im dead and going thru w the date is my hell

killerqueen: Okay, relax. Obviously he wouldn’t have said yes to the date if he wasn’t already interested, so you already have that going for you! The worst part is done.

killerqueen: All you have to do now is think of something special for the two of you to do together.

crossbonez: yeah that’s basically the part where my brain stops

killerqueen: Fair. What’s your budget?

crossbonez: uhhhhhh

crossbonez: uhhhhhhhhhhh

killerqueen: Ryuji.

crossbonez: is free an option

killerqueen: Oh, god. Okay.

killerqueen: I didn’t realize you hadn’t planned for this in… any capacity.

crossbonez: OF COURSE I HAVENT ITS LIKE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME

crossbonez: I DIDNT THINK OF THE MONEY THING OK

crossbonez: I WAS SORT OF FOCUSED ON NOT THROWING UP ON HIM AS I ASKED

killerqueen: Message received.

killerqueen: I’ll see if there’s anything cheap going on in the city this weekend.

crossbonez: thank you ugh

crossbonez: was this a bad idea

killerqueen: Asking out Akira? No, of course not.

crossbonez: sigh

killerqueen: Lying to Akira about having the entire thing prepared and planned out? Yes, without a doubt.

crossbonez: COOL THANKS MOM 

crossbonez: GOD

[ crossbonez left the conversation. ]

 [ THURSDAY, 7:29PM ]

[ palette-cleanser sent you a message! ]

palette-cleanser: Are you still taking advice for your date?

crossbonez: the answer is technically yes but i can’t say i’ve reached the point in my life where i’m ready to take dating advice from you

palette-cleanser: I shall try and keep my advice more general, then.

crossbonez: just don’t say the word beauty

palette-cleanser: You should consider the benefit of surrounding yourselves with beautiful things. I can only imagine a relationship increasing in intensity when the couple is surrounded by overwhelming beauty.

palette-cleanser: In my defense, my reply was half-written when you posted yours.

crossbonez: what the hell would overwhelming beauty even be man

crossbonez: am i sposed to find out which flower gives him boners like what am i doing here

palette-cleanser: that is up to you! And Akira, I suppose.

palette-cleanser: I was, of course, referring to your beautiful surroundings being up to you. Akira getting an erection is less-so in your hands.

palette-cleaner: …I did not mean for that to become a double-entendre but I suppose that’s also appropriate to your situation.

crossbonez: hoo boy you are this close to my block list lemme tell ya

palette-cleanser: Please don’t, my contact list is very short as it is.

palette-cleanser: Back to the topic at hand,

crossbonez: yeah plz

palette-cleanser: What are some things that Akira finds beautiful?

crossbonez: man i don’t know

crossbonez: uhh

crossbonez: good coffee

crossbonez: big ass cheeseburgers

crossbonez: cats probably

crossbonez: hes got a risette poster in his room but i think that’s less because shes hot and more because someone gave it to him and he was too nice to throw it out

palette-cleanser: None of that sounds particularly beautiful…

crossbonez: OH WOW DOES IT NOT

crossbonez: REALLY

palette-cleanser: There is no need to raise your typeface at me.

crossbonez: sjdjcickgmsoakfb

palette-cleanser: ?

crossbonez: nothing dont worry abt it

crossbonez: im gonna go see if i can buy something beautiful for ¥200 

palette-cleanser: Many beautiful things in life are free.

crossbonez: you got an example to go with that inspirational quote?

crossbonez: duuuude?

palette-cleanser: I appear to be losing connection

crossbonez: oh my god dude

palette-cleanser: I can hardly read what you’re writing

crossbonez: thats not how that would even work

crossbonez: i cant tell if ur trolling me or not

[ palette-cleanser has left the conversation. ]

 [ THURSDAY, 7:49PM ] 

[ yougimmethecrepes has replied to your message! ]

crossbonez: plz tell me ur just invisible

crossbonez: ur my one last hope and god is that saying something about how my standards have fallen

yougimmethecrepes: doing homework

yougimmethecrepes: you still peeing your pants over date night?

crossbonez: you still willing to give bad advice?

yougimmethecrepes: imagine me swiping all of my school work off my desk onto my floor because if my math grade didn’t ride on this I would have done that

crossbonez: aight

yougimmethecrepes: also my advice is fantastic shut up

yougimmethecrepes: okay, lets start easy. What’s the budget?

crossbonez: im in high school and not a part time model

crossbonez: my budget is negative

yougimmethecrepes: ooooh

yougimmethecrepes: got it

yougimmethecrepes: arcade? you can just use small change and stuff

crossbonez: we go there ALL THE TIME thats not a date

crossbonez: that’s like going to the ramen shop or something

yougimmethecrepes: uh……batting cages? Movie?

crossbonez: i cant ask him on a date and then just do shit we do normally! how is that a date???

yougimmethecrepes: How is it not a date?? You guys always have fun doing that, how is it less fun on a date

yougimmethecrepes: OH WAIT NO I got it

yougimmethecrepes: bathhouse

crossbonez: shut up no

yougimmethecrepes: hey, it’s not my fault you gave this absolutely no thought whatsoever

crossbonez: UGH I KNOW

crossbonez: WHY IS THIS HARD

yougimmethecrepes: I KEEP TELLING YOU THAT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE

yougimmethecrepes: YOU’RE MAKING THIS A PROBLEM

[ crossbonez has left the conversation. ]

 [ THURSDAY, 8:25 PM ] 

[ memejed sent you a message! ]

crossbonez: no

memejed: before you say anything

memejed: jdcjdjnfdkdkf

memejed: dammit how do all of you type so fast

memejed: it’s like I don’t even know myself any more

memejed: is it my tiny hands

crossbonez: i do not want dating advice from you

memejed: well then it’s a good thing I don’t have any for you then ISNT IT

memejed: I just wanted to tell you that Akira just got home and he’s smiling a lot and it’s gross and weird and most likely your fault, so

crossbonez: oh that’s

crossbonez: nice to hear thank you jhgjfyjuh

memejed: he just told sojiro about the date and sojiro offered to grab him condoms hahAHAAHAH

crossbonez: OH MY GOD

crossbonez: DONT TELL ME THAT SHIT

memejed: IM ACTUALLY GONNA CHOKE LOLLL

crossbonez: I HOPE SO

memejed: >:(

memejed: I don’t even get why youre so nervous he’s obviously out of his mind happy to go out with you

memejed: whatever you guys do he’ll be down

memejed: just don’t do any stupid shit like try and show off or act like a tool

memejed: which I realize may seem daunting for you

memejed: but I believe u may have it in you, maybe

crossbonez: I just have no idea what to do without us doing the same shit as always

memejed: whats wrong with doing the stuff you guys always do? Routine is comfy

memejed: comfort is the enemy of anxiety

memejed: well, comfy, and a good pair of sweatpants

memejed: *and valium

crossbonez: you dont think he would mind doing shit we do all the time?

memejed: oh my god are ALL boys as stupid as you??? how has the species survived for so long

memejed: just hold his hand or something and he’d let you push him in front of the subway!! Like, that probably shouldn’t be your go to option, but just

memejed: he ALREADY likes you. you don’t need to impress him or anything

memejed: consider yourself lucky, because like, idk how you swung that

crossbonez: I agree with you too much to get mad at that

crossbonez: wow

crossbonez: akira agreed to go out with me, you gave me advice that wasnt steaming dog shit

crossbonez: maybe i should buy a lottery ticket lmao

memejed: LMAO ur luck stat isn’t THAT high yet

memejed: see if sojiro comes through w the condoms first

crossbonez: okay and NOW im leaving

memejed: BE SAFE!!

[ crossbonez has left the conversation. ]

 [ THURSDAY, 9:22 PM ]  

[ HaruOkumura sent you a message! ]

HaruOkumura: Good, you’re still online! 

crossbonez: hahaha what happened to ur screenname?

HaruOkumura: The company’s social media adviser suggested I change it for professional purposes………..

crossbonez: lame

HaruOkumura: Yes apparently “BigBangIsPeople” is not an appropriate username for the incoming CEO of Okumura Foods.

HaruOkumura: I thought it was funny :(

HaruOkumura: But anyway! I’m glad you’re still online! Makoto texted me and told me about yours and Akira’s date and I wanted to say congratulations and I’m so happy for you!

crossbonez: thanks! tell makoto to quit snitchin tho

HaruOkumura: Will do! I just wanted to talk because Makoto said you were very stressed out and seemed sort of unprepared

crossbonez: im okay now i think

crossbonez: futaba helped me out

crossbonez: weirdly

crossbonez: i mean im still sweating all over myself and the idea of actually meeting up with akira for the date in question makes me want to gag but :) im fine

HaruOkumura: oh my :o

HaruOkumura: Have you decided what the two of you will do?

crossbonez: yeeaaahhhh i got some ideas i think?

HaruOkumura: I do as well!! Would you like to hear them?

crossbonez: hey i am always up for not thinking

HaruOkumura: That’s great!! Okay, what is your budget currently?

crossbonez: gkhskdfkjlghlrihvoirhgiu

crossbonez: kjghsiuergtiughpijiuprughtuislrhgiulth

HaruOkumura: Uhm?

crossbonez: I THINK IM GOOD LMAO THX HARU

HaruOkumura: Oh youre welcome! Let us know how it goes!

crossbonez: yeah sure if i dont die first!

[ crossbonez has left the conversation. ]

 [ SATURDAY, 02:41 AM ] 

[ JokersWild sent you a message! ]

JokersWild: Hey

JokersWild: I know youre probably asleep because it’s like fuck o clock in the morning and why wouldn’t you be

JokersWild: But I cant sleep because I made myself some antianxiety coffee when I got home haha

JokersWild: (futaba calls it estresso but I can’t call it that because it’s so clever it makes me mad I didn’t think of it first)

JokersWild: but I had a really good time tonight

JokersWild: and you seemed kind of worried all night so I wanted you to know that

JokersWild: and idek if you were worried because of us(?) or if there was something else going on and now I just seem like kind of an asshole for assuming it was about me

JokersWild: but whether it was or it wasn’t I had fun

JokersWild: and

JokersWild: I’m really happy you asked me out

JokersWild: and just…… you don’t need advice from anyone on how to like

JokersWild: woo me yknow?

JokersWild: I had notifications turned off but the number of messages in the group chat kept ticking up so I lurked for a second

JokersWild: I don’t know what anyone ended up telling you but you didn’t need it

JokersWild: you don’t have to impress me. I ALREADY like you.

JokersWild: so, that’s that

JokersWild: this coffee is very strong and obviously my inhibitions are non existent right now so I’m going to bed before this turns into a confession

JokersWild: or more of one

JokersWild: lets, like, do this again? I want to keep doing this with you

[ JokersWild has left the conversation. ]

 [ SATURDAY, 02:54 AM ] 

[ JokersWild sent you a message! ]

JokersWild: also oh my god thank you for not freaking the fuck out when that condom fell out of my jacket I SWEAR TO YOU I did not put it there and when I find out who did I am going to unmake them

JokersWild: okay goodnight

[ JokersWild has left the conversation. ]